Things I Say While I'm Driving

  1. Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
  2. Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
  3. Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
  4. Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
  5. Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
  6. Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
  7. Me: /dinosaur screams/

jesscookie:

just my envirosuit headcanons for volus and quarian

:)

zohbugg:

if I ever fall into a coma someone please come secretly tweeze my eyebrows so I can make all the nurses hella jealous of my unconscious eyebrow game. 

knitgrimshaw:

Mara and I are coping with Kaidan breaking up with Shepard by eating freeze dried space ice cream and listening to Jewel.  It’s a space break up.

STAY STROOOONG

My Kaidan-romancing best friend, knitgrimshaw, just played through Horizon on ME2 and is now emotionally distraught.

But I came prepared with space ice cream and Jewel.

“Who can top this shit, who can top this shit?”
My best friend on finding a hotspot of mineral resources while scanning planets in Mass Effect 2

zohbugg:

thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

'murica

Fun fact: in the 19th century, Arkansas had a state convention over whether to spell it “Arkansas” or “Arkansaw” and whether to pronounce it “Arkansas” or “Arkansaw”. They compromised.

What advice do you have for a 14 year old girl?
Anonymous

porn4smartgirls:

This is so vague I love it. The voices you are hearing are real, god is speaking to you. The nation of France needs you. Don your armor, take up arms, lead the French army. This is your destiny, joan. When the flames come for you let them lick your bones and laugh.

jessajohansson:

i didn’t understand the hype about wearing leggings as pants until i started wearing leggings as pants and now there’s no going back

caledscratch:

roarkshop:

I watched this 4 minute video about how reintroducing wolves to Yellowstone park literally changed everything about the park and just sat there for another two minutes, mouth open and teary eyed and amazed. Definitely worth a watch. 

it’s amazing how the earth itself changed in response to wildlife…

theyreoutofcontrol:

Interviewer: “so where do you see yourself in five years?”
Me: “I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore I’ve won the house cup”

codyaferg:

wow-suchbree-veryblog:

"If white people are so privileged why is there a Black Entertainment Network and no White Entertainment Network?"

"Men don’t have privilege, there are women’s only gyms!"

"Why isn’t there a campus centre for straight/cis people!?"

SAME REASONS WHY IN MARIO KART YOU DON’T GET BLUE SHELLS OR LIGHTNING BOLTS WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY IN FIRST PLACE, ASSBAG.

This is honestly the best explanation I have ever seen.