TODAY I MET A PERSON WHO WAS ON TWO EPISODES OF STAR TREK VOYAGER AND WAS SO EXCITED I HAD TO GO OFF AND HAVE AN ALONE NERD MOMENT.
If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.
bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war
why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there
what are you gonna do?
stab a skeleton in the heart?
no, I’ll play their rib bones like xylobones and destroy the morale of the skeleton army with my sick and delightful xylobone playing
when people dont like lord of the rings because the movies are ‘long’
when people dont like lord of the rings because it has ‘too much fighting’
when people dont like lord of the rings
Lord of the Rings
Whenever someone asks me my dream job my response is “none”
I just want to be rich and powerful and not working
a paranormal mockumentary show in the style of the office/parks and rec
revolving around the lives of employees at a hokey haunted mansion tourist trap that turn out to be actually hella haunted but most of its spirits are either benevolent or ineffectively malevolent
10/10 WOULD WATCH
i wish aziz ansari as Tom Haverford would have been the one to announce the new apple watch because that’s such a him idea. (tom haverford voice) It’s a watch…. *finger guns* that makes phonecalls. It’s a watch… *finger guns* that lets you control the temperature of any room. I call it (long pause, looks straight into the camera) Watch the Throne.